Krisis 25

Saya menulis ini di kantor dalam keadaan 2 atasan saya yang sedang tidak ada, jadi saya punya waktu untuk melakukan hal lain selain pekerjaan saya. Browsing sana, browsing sini. Liat ini, liat itu. Lagi-lagi cari berita Super Junior. Lagi-lagi cari artikel soal personal development. Saya terus saja mencari-cari sesuatu yang bukan kerjaan saya. 
Rasanya akhir-akhir ini saya banyak berfikir soal hidup saya. Mungkin karena sudah lewat 25 tahun saya hidup, jadi memang sudah selayaknya saya memikirkan mau dibawa kemana hidup saya ini. Gelar sudah sarjana, pekerjaan pun sudah dapat. Tapi, rasanya hidup saya kok tidak memuaskan. Rasanya seharusnya saya tidak ada di kursi ini sekarang. Oke, mungkin sekarang boleh saja saya duduk di kursi ini, tapi rasanya tidak bisa selamanya. Saya benar-benar harus mencari sesuatu yang ingin saya jalani, bukan yang harus dijalani, karena yang sekarang ini saya jalani adalah sesuatu yang harus saya jalani. Menjadi seorang pegawai perusahaan swasta, bukan sesuatu yang saya inginkan dalam hidup saya, tapi harus saya jalani semata-mata untuk menghidupi diri saya. Kalau sudah didasari keharusan seperti ini, rasanya banyak hal yang memberatkan perjalanan saya, yang mana susah untuk diringankan. Ketika semua hal tidak berjalan sesuai keinginan saya,rasanya tidak ada lagi hal yang bisa memotivasi saya, rasanya ingin menyerah saja. 
Namun, kalau dipikir-pikir kalau menyerah dari aktivitas ini, saya mau apa? Itu jawaban yang belum saya temukan, yang membuat saya tidak bisa melangkah pergi dari sini. 

Ada satu hal yang mengusik diri saya, sebenarnya belum saya temukan atau sudah ditemukan namun saya tidak berani melangkah ke arah sana?

How have you been, Blog World?

Hi Blog World! How are you? Hope you've been doing well. Sooo.. it's been 6 months since my last post. There are so many things that happen to me during this 6 months..really.. a lot of it. I happen to write some post back then, but  it ended only as draft. I've just realized I have wrote 3 posts on these past month, maybe I will publish it later. I'm pretty busy with my work and once I have time to write a post, the mood is not there.. yeah.. yeah.. that's my bad.. I'm sorry for being moody. Just like now, I write some of this post at 9 PM, when I already switch off the lamp and ready to go to sleep. Since I checked my blog and found that my last post is on March, I decided to write this post. 

Anyway, many things happen to my life.. but..uhmm.. not really.. My life was only about work..work..family quality time and Super Junior.. hihi.. Yes, I'm still an ELF, but I only spent little of my time for Super Junior recently. It's not that I didn't love or adore them anymore these days. I just didn't have much energy for my fangirl life. I still listen to their song, but I didn't watch their videos as often as before. Maybe it's also because their activities are decreasing, so there are only a few videos about them. It's because some of the members are still in army and some of them going to enlist next month.

I celebrate my 25th birthday last month. Honestly, there is nothing special. Just have some quality time with my college friends, JKT 4 and some of my co-workers congratulating me. I'm happy with that, I'm blessed for having my family and my friends.

I wrote my last 3 paragraphs on my bedroom last night, and now I'm continuing this at the office. Since this is my first post in English, I need to recheck it two times for any grammar error. Apologize for my poor grammar. I think I need to start writing in English. I need to practice my English more often, so I can fluently speak and write in English. Shall you find any grammar error, kindly let me know, so I can fix it. :)

Well, I think that's all for now. I promise to write a post regularly, at least once a month. 

Thank you for your time and See ya! 

PS: I'm gonna post about Inside Out movie on my next post!